If I Give You My Heart
by potusfitz
Summary: Fitzgerald Grant and Olivia Pope are journalists and currently engaged in a no-strings-attached relationship. With Fitz falling in love with her and wanting their relationship to be more, how long can they keep this up until Olivia finally allows herself to fall or for both of them to get hurt?
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Hi guys! I'm going to try something new so this story's gonna be AU (THAT RHYMED SON!) Okay _anyway_ , I'm really new to writing so I hope you enjoy this regardless. The prompt was requested by someone on Tumblr and the idea of the story was also inspired by a movie I saw! So let me know what you think by leaving a review after you read and hit the follow or favorite button if you want more chapters!

 **DISCLAIMER:** I don't own anything or any of these characters!

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 ** _Prologue_**

Not many moments passed from their blissed out state when he already felt her shuffling away from him, making an effort to gather her discarded clothes on the floor.

Running a hand over his face, Fitz tried to fight back the sinking feeling in his chest. Slightly shaking his head, he couldn't help but find his reaction amusing. Because even though she made it clear to him from the very start and even if it happened night after _night_ after _night_ , the sight of her leaving him never failed to make him feel hurt and disappointed.

Because here's the deal: Fitzgerald Grant valued commitment. Although he played the field a great deal back in his younger days, deep down he always stood by the concept of being a one-woman type of man someday. So after spending years on meaningless one night stands and mediocre relationships, Fitz was finally done. Being thirty-six and knowing he wasn't getting much younger, he's been set on taking relationships seriously in an attempt to find _the one_ that would be it for him in the long haul. So with that said, anyone would understand why his current situation was so twisted: here he was, in all of his after-sex glory, getting his feelings hurt over a no strings attached relationship that he wanted desperately to be more.

Glancing sideways and seeing she was turned away from him, he took the rare opportunity to admire her; from the delicate curve of her neck, to the smooth planes of her back, and the defined curves of her body that he couldn't help but commit to memory. After his exploration, it was sufficient to say that Olivia Pope was nothing short of a goddess and he didn't know how he was lucky enough to have her- or at least at nights similar to this, in his sheets, where their relationship begins and ends. Really getting a chance to look at her now, it was evident that her beauty was one of the things that tied him to the current mess of a situation he was in. However, anyone who knew Olivia would understand that what he felt for went way beyond her looks; that the butterflies he felt, and the stupid, messy decision to fall head over heels in love with her was _more_ than just that.

Because beyond her delicate features and striking looks, Olivia Pope also used her great passion and intelligence to her advantage. Given the quality of her work and dedication to the job, it was no question why she was one of the most respected journalists in Washington. In the long and many years of his career, Fitz has never worked alongside anyone who managed to put that much depth and emotion into their work like Olivia did. She always writes in the moment, putting all the raw emotion and feeling she has as a way to draw the audience to her world, letting them feel what she wants them to feel through her unique writing technique and play on words. But lastly, and maybe most importantly, Olivia Pope was honest. She valued trust, whether in her work or in real life. She always looked at things objectively and wasn't afraid to be straightforward when the situation called for it. It was this quality of hers that put him back in his place whenever she felt like he was overstepping his boundaries. Olivia was also being honest when she told him that they didn't have to spend any time outside of work just because they were _fucking_. And maybe, just _maybe_ , her honesty was the reason why Fitz was having an internal battle with himself on whether he should ask her to stay the night.

A great part of him wanted _badly_ for her to stay. He wanted to sleep with her in his arms and wake with their limbs intertwined, his arms wrapped around her and her head on his chest. Because with her, he craved closeness and intimacy; with her, space seemed overrated anyway. He wanted the opportunity to look at her in the morning light; to see her face free of the stress and worry she had on when she was to busy being the great Olivia Pope. But more than anything, he wanted the simplicity of it all. No hiding, no fear over what happens next; because more than anything, he longed to feel what it would be like for her to be his and how it would feel like to be owned by Olivia Pope.

However, the other part of him: the hesitant and scared voice inside his head; the _nagging_ voice that was beyond _exhausted_ , kept trying to pull him back because it knows he's gonna get rejected. Again. Just like the first few times.

Before he could even make a decision, his hand was already reaching out to latch onto hers, their fingers slowly intertwining together.

Cautiously, she finally turned to face him; glancing down at their linked hands with a puzzled expression on her face. Fitz who was watching her, on the other hand, felt his heart pound just a little bit louder in his chest when he realized she made no move to let go of the intimate moment.

 ** _One step forward._**

"You know you don't have to leave right? I have a huge bed. I don't mind sharing it." He teased, making small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Oh, I know. You did a great job of sharing it with me the first time and the time after that." She winked at him, obviously avoiding his point and getting the wrong idea.

"You know that's not what I mean, Liv." He sighed, defeated; feeling his hope disappear just as it showed.

"Then what do you mean, Fitz? What else do you want from me?" Snatching her hand away from his, she asked, exasperated with his behavior. Her mood shifted quickly, her guard up and no longer the carefree woman he was with just a few minutes ago.

Laying back on the bed, he pinched the bridge of his nose in attempt to control his growing temper. "Nothing, Liv. Just- forget I even said anything." She paced back and forth, lost in the situation. She was frustrated at herself for getting all worked up, and even more frustrated at _him_ for pushing her constantly into making this more than what she wants it to be.

"You know our boundaries because _you_ agreed. You knew what this was going to be the moment _you_ signed up for it, Fitz. So stop! _Just_ stop making more of what we are. What you want is _never_ going to happen!"

With a small chuckle, he finally gathered the courage to look her in the eye. "Well, you sure made that pretty clear didn't you?"

"You know what? Fuck you, Fitz. I'm sorry you're not mature enough for this." Putting on her shoes, she managed to grab all her things before walking out the door, not giving him a second look.

"I'll see you at work, boss!" Fitz yelled at her before he heard the door slam on her way out, seeing as she left, _again_ ; nothing new there.

Throwing the closest thing he could find to the wall out of frustration, he sank down on his pillows and buried his face in his hands wondering how things got that quickly out of hand.

Before drifting off to sleep, he tried to recall any good feeling he had to make himself feel better but he was just far too upset. Second guessing himself, he thought that maybe he shouldn't have pushed her too far. Or better yet, maybe he shouldn't have agreed to sleep with her in the first place.

Forcing himself to sleep with the haunting image of her walking away on his mind, Fitz finally drifted off, not looking forward to going to work tomorrow.

 ** _Two steps back._**

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 **A/N:** Okay! So that was really rough for a starting chapter but just go with me here. I really really have great ideas for this story so I hope you guys liked it. Please let me know what you think by leaving a review after you read and hit the follow or favorite button if you want me to continue and what your ideas are for the next few chapters! You can tweet me goldwyndempsey. Again, thank you guys and please please review!


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Oh my god, you guys! The feedback I got from the last chapter was so amazing. Thank you all so much. I'm glad that most of you liked the idea of the story and where it's headed towards. So again if you have any ideas/comments, leave a review after reading and tweet me goldwyndempsey.

 _ANYWAY,_ since the first "chapter" was a prologue, this one is gonna be the first part of the flashback chapters to give you guys an idea of Fitz's background and on how he and Olivia met. So here it is! Don't forget to review and click on the fav/follow button if you want more chapters.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I do not own anything or any of these characters!

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Chapter 1: The Beginning (Part I)

 _ **Washington, March 24, 2016**_

Fitz took another long drag of his cigarette, allowing the chemicals to overpower his thoughts even for just a short amount of time. Truth be told, he wasn't really a smoker but today was a good enough excuse to have a few. Before he could take another puff, the phone in his pocket buzzed in his pocket showing a new message from his sister.

' _ **Happy 36**_ _ **th**_ _ **, big bro! You're getting fucking older by the minute! Love you and don't be too hard on yourself today. (PS. When are you coming back to California? Come home.)'**_

Shaking his head at her antics, Fitz took a moment before replying a simple 'thanks, sis' and 'love you too', purposely avoiding her question.

Taking a swig from his beer, Fitz allowed himself to think about home.

He has always loved being in California. Majority of the happy memories he treasured happened there: waking up to his mom's cooking during the weekdays, horseback riding with his sister, Sophie, going on long hikes with the family, and all the other things that made him feel absolutely content; made him feel warm and happy. However, he was young then; naivety allowing him to focus solely on those feelings. Thinking back now, little did his younger self know how limited the time he had to enjoy these moments until they were soon to be out of his grasp.

On the day of his tenth birthday, instead of receiving a present, he and his mother walked in to the sight of his father banging his secretary on his office desk.

Up to now, he still remembered how he simply watched as the reality of the moment sunk in, when his mother fell apart, got in the car, and never looked back.

And on his tenth birthday, Fitzgerald Grant's mother died from a fatal car crash, taking all the happiness and warmth he had ever felt with her; leaving their California memories as mere shadows of what used to be.

After his mother's passing, everything that was of their family fell apart by the seams: His father drank himself to unconsciousness nearly every night and continued to sleep with anyone who breathed, his sister going through a rebellious phase due to the lack of guidance; due to the lack of family. And Fitz? He just lost his direction altogether. With Big Gerry constantly pushing him to enter the world of politics and Fitz constantly denying his wishes, he took the first college course available, did well enough to graduate, and as soon as he finished, Fitz packed his bags, told Sophie to stay in touch, then left home without looking back ever since.

Before he could further dwell on his miserable past, the sudden blare of music from the bar's stage caught his attention as the band began to play. Noticing that he completely wasted the rest of his cigarette, Fitz took another one from the pack but for some reason, even if his lighter was working perfectly fine and there wasn't any wind inside the bar, he couldn't seem to light his cigarette properly. Determined to try once more, he placed the stick between his lips and went to light it before someone bumped him from behind, making him lose his grip and drop the lighter on the wooden floor. Bewildered, Fitz simply stared at the object as if willing it to come back to him when someone began speaking from his peripheral.

"Don't you think all those miserable attempts at lighting that thing are a sign that you just shouldn't smoke?"

Turning to see where the voice came from, Fitz was immediately rooted in his place when his gaze focused on the woman in front of him. To say that she was gorgeous would be a huge understatement: with gorgeous brown skin and hair that skimmed past her shoulders, her doe-like eyes and perfectly curved eyelashes, and to her delicate nose and full lips, this woman was a goddess and could make any man fall at her feet, following every word and every command that came from her lips.

Feeling suddenly hot all over with sweaty palms and all, Fitz cleared his throat nervously before speaking, dumbfounded by her mere presence, "I'm sorry what?"

"Your cigarette, pretty boy. You've been struggling to light that thing for the past few minutes that I almost felt sorry for you." She threw a grin in his direction and Fitz swore he felt his knees buckle.

"It's my birthday", Fitz mumbled quietly, almost hitting himself immediately after. Desperate to carry on with the conversation but didn't have the guts and apparently the _words_ to, he took a breath and tried to channel his college self: the campus hunk and the captain of the football team, equipped with all the smooth moves and pick-up lines that charmed his way into the long line of women who wanted to feel how to be fucked and _ruined_ by Fitzgerald Grant. In fact, if his past self was in his situation, mystery woman would probably have a drink by now, accomplishing the first out of the many steps of how to woo a woman. But apparently, quitting the playing field and attempting to build a serious relationship made you lose your game and Fitz never found that decision to be stupid until this very moment.

"Oh, so you celebrate another year of life by slowly trying to kill yourself? That makes perfect sense."

"No. I mean- it is my birthday but it's also my mother's death anniversary so I thought I'd just-" Fitz stumbled with his words, not even sure why he was sharing this and defending himself to a total stranger. With his revelation, Fitz found her looking at him intently, as if trying to get a better read on him. Her gaze unwavering, he shifted uncomfortably, internally slapping himself for blowing his shot. His attempt to show interest and be forward with this girl resulted into his own pity party instead: talk about embarrassing.

Just when he thought he couldn't get more tense, Fitz swallowed hardly as his mystery woman began walking towards him before his very eyes. As she got closer, his breaths started to come in pants; her mere proximity making it hard for him to breathe. After what seemed like forever, she finally came to a stop in front of him; their bodies close enough that their arms and knees brushed with the slightest movements. They were silent for a short amount of time, drinking in the closeness and the atmosphere that surrounded them before she picked up his discarded lighter on the floor and reached for one of his cigarettes. Looking directly into his gaze, she tipped his chin, placed the cigarette in between his lips and lit it for him. With their eyes still locked, Fitz took a drag of the cigarette, hoping it would cloud his mind enough for him to ignore the throbbing erection in his pants, as a result of her earlier actions.

Propping her chin on her hand, she looked thoughtful before she spoke again, "Seeing as it's you're your special day, how about I make you a deal. Tonight, we each don't have a story. No responsibilities. I look at you and I can see the sadness linger in your eyes; all the pain and hurt you have. So for tonight, there'll be nothing from our pasts. Let _us_ celebrate _you_ tonight. Just like it's supposed to be. Just _you_ and _me_ in the now."

Emboldened by the intoxicating combination of the smoke and the warmth of her skin seeping through his, Fitz allowed himself to let go of his inhibitions and take her hand lightly into his, "So what? If I decide to be the guy in a bar looking for some fun, who would that make you?"

Her eyes showing her amusement, she placed her free hand on his shoulder before reaching up to him. With her warm breath fanning on his neck and her soft lips at the shell of his ear, she dropped her voice to a sultry tone before whispering,

"Well, if you think you can handle it, why don't _you_ find out."

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 **A/N:** Okay! I don't know how I did but I hope you guys like it and stay tuned for the second part! Please let me know what you think by leaving a review after you read and hit the follow or favorite button if you want me to continue and what your ideas are for the next few chapters! You can tweet me at: **goldwyndempsey**. Again, thank you guys for the feedback and please please review!


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